Parenting: When a child questions the reason behind a rule

Peace Itong

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Parenting and styles varies in child development and when a child begin to question the reason behind a rule, the parents need to check their style of parenting.

Researchers have identified four types of parenting styles.

1. Authoritarian
2. Authoritative
3. Permissive
4. Uninvolved

Each style takes a different approach to raising children and can be identified by a number of different characteristics.

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Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, “Because I said so,” when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in negotiating and their focus is on obedience.

They also don’t allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Instead, they make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child’s opinion.

Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of discipline. So rather than teach a child how to make better choices, they’re invested in making kids feel sorry for their mistakes.

Children who grow up with strict authoritarian parents tend to follow rules much of the time. But, their obedience comes at a price.
They may also become hostile or aggressive. Rather than think about how to do things better in the future, they often focus on the anger they feel toward their parents. Since authoritarian parents are often strict, their children may grow to become good liars in an effort to avoid punishment.

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce good behavior, like praise and reward systems.
Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They’re also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are lenient. They often only step in when there’s a serious problem.

They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.” When they do use consequences, they may not make those consequences stick. They might give privileges back if a child begs or they may allow a child to get out of time-out early if he promises to be good.

Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they usually don’t put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior.
They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don’t appreciate authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness.

They’re also at a higher risk for health problems, like obesity, because permissive parents struggle to limit junk food intake. They are even more likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents often don’t enforce good habits, like ensuring a child brushes his teeth.

Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. There tend to be few rules. Children may not receive much guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.

Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy into meeting children’s basic needs. Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis.

At other times, uninvolved parents lack knowledge about child development. And sometimes, they’re simply overwhelmed with other problems, like work, paying bills, and managing a household.

They tend to perform poorly in school. They also exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank low in happiness.

Highlights based on Research

1. Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions aren’t valued.

2. kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions.

3. Kids who grow up with permissive parents are more likely to struggle academically.

4. Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues.

Culled from: Verywellfamily

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